Insight from the Grief Counselling Melbourne Clinic

What is grief?

Grief is typically associated with someone we love who has died. However, grieving is the process of mourning a loss of something that meant a lot to us. Some examples are:

• Mourning the death of someone
• Breakups
• The death of a pet
• Miscarriage / abortion
• Children leaving home
• Redundancy
• Changing Schools
• Migrating

When we lose someone or something that is dear to us, feelings of sadness and frustration are common. In fact, the grieving process helps us make sense of the loss.

There are  commonalities, seen cross culturally. There are known as the 5 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger & guilt, despair & depression, and finally acceptance.

Typically, our first response is shock at what we’ve lost. This alone can be so traumatic, that we tend to deny and avoid what’s happened. As we come to terms with what’s happened, a sense of frustration and anger is a common experience.  The fourth stage, is bargaining, trying in vain to undo what has happened. It’s at this fifth stage, we begin to accept what’s occured that depression sets in. And finally, we begin to make peace with what’s occurred.

This is completely normal, and is considered to be simple grief. 

For some, the pain is so overwhelming, they deny their sadness. For others, they simply can’t imagine a life moving forward. As a result, it can block the natural mourning process leading to depression.

Simple Grief vs Complicated Grief

For some, grief can become overwhelming and become chronic. Rather than moving through the natural stages, some get stuck, and deteriorate. This is known as complicated grief.

Some symptoms may include:

• Excessive ruminating on their loss
• Challenges Accepting the loss 
• Dissociate (numbness, avoidance)
• Execssive bitterness
• Depressive symptoms (more here)
• Losing trust in people

Prolonged Grief Disorder

In some cases (about 10%), prolonged grief disorder (PGD) occurs, making the grieving process even more difficult. Intense yearning, confusion of one’s role in life, avoiding reminders of the reality, and a host of other criteria may mean PGD. This can mean one’s life is truly on pause, and they have no yet gone through the grieving process.

When should I see a grief counsellor?

There is no right or wrong way to mourn. Many get counselling for simple grief, just for that extra support. This can act as a preventative to complicated grief. If you or you know someone who may need extra support, counselling can be vital.

About 20% of mourners develop complicated grief

How can the Grief Counselling Melbourne Clinic help?

The experience of loss and grief can be earth-shattering. While grief mostly associated with losing a parent, a child, a partner, or friend, grief and bereavement occur wherever loss can

be found. This may be a pet animal, a child moving out of home, being made redundant, loss of financial security, the end of a relationship, a miscarriage, or moving home. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes.

While friends, and family offer support, a trained counsellor can offer a deeper level of processing, that may otherwise not be possible. For those who need additional specialist help, we offer confidential support for adults and children.

The Grief Counselling Melbourne Clinic can help you to:

• To accept the reality of the loss
• To work through the pain of grief
• To adjust to life without the deceased
• To maintain a connection to the deceased while moving on with life

There is no right one way to grieve and mourn. Different cultures, religions, culture, and our unique personality and genetic makeup, all contribute to a complete unique grieving process.

While grieving is a personal and private experience, research has shown that the grieving process with a trained counsellor can greatly assist in understanding and processing it. Our relationships with our loved ones are complicated, layered, and multifaceted, making the grieving process a complicated one.

How does the Grief Counselling Melbourne Clinic Work?

A counsellor who is trained in grief counselling, offers an empathic ear can help to refocus, and process your loss in a way that is meaningful, and considerate. Many questions come up during the grieving process, and having someone who is there by your side, during this difficult time, offers a space and support that might not otherwise be available, despite having loved ones around.