Is Your Anger Getting The Best Of You?

Do you have a hard time managing your anger?

Have your partner, family members, friends, or co-workers expressed concerns about your temper?

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Are you worried that you will never be able to figure out how to control your response when angry?

You may have landed on this page after getting into yet another heated confrontation with your partner, or maybe your temper has resulted in legal consequences and court-mandated treatment. Whatever the case may be, you’re here because you want help figuring out how to deal with and manage your anger. 

Anger Often Has Detrimental Repercussions

Your anger probably impacts your relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional. Maybe ordinary disagreements spiral into blowout arguments with your significant other, or perhaps rage and irritability are always present beneath the surface—regardless of if you’re at home, at work, or among friends. If you’ve become threatening, aggressive, or violent in the past, it’s possible that your loved ones have become distant or even avoidant of you. 

But your anger isn’t just damaging your relationships with others—it’s hurting you too. Stuck in a pattern of tension, explosion, and shame, you’re probably invested in breaking the cycle. Of course, you understand that there are consequences to your anger and that it’s putting your relationships, job, and well-being at risk. Yet, you don’t know how to express your feelings without becoming activated and stressed. 

Essentially, you just want to feel understood, appreciated, and like you’re being treated fairly while also being able to communicate your feelings more effectively. Yet, you might often feel attacked and forced to put your defences up, which can get a little ugly sometimes.  

I understand that you feel stuck, but positive change and newfound calm are possible. In anger management therapy, I can help you trace back your angry response to its source so that you can be more successful in controlling it. Together, we can resolve the obstacles keeping you stuck in a state of distress and frustration. 

Despite The Shame Surrounding It, Anger Is A Normal And Necessary Emotion

Before getting into the specifics of anger management therapy, it’s important to know a few things about anger. 

First and foremost, anger is not only a normal human emotion—it’s a vital one. Anger is often the response to hurt and injustice, so it’s essential to recognise it as a valid emotion on the path to healing. 

Second, anger occurs for all kinds of reasons. If you were ridiculed or disregarded in childhood, you may have never received affirming, empathetic responses. Or perhaps you grew up in an environment where aggression and violence were acceptable forms of communication. If there were instances of trauma, neglect, or abuse in your past, you may have been taught to be passive and suppress your emotions—that is, until your bottled-up feelings explode in rage.

There might also be more current factors in adulthood keeping you stuck in the cycle of frustration and anger. Maybe you were verbally or physically abused in a past relationship, and your anger allows you to feel protected when under threat. Or perhaps there are underlying issues of substance abuse that alter your judgement, emotions, and stress response. 

Lastly, though closely related to shame and secrecy, anger issues are quite common. Doctors in the UK monitored patients with symptoms of aggression and possible anger disorders, with their reports confirming the need for accessible, effective anger management treatment and counselling. Of those surveyed, 12 percent reported that they have trouble controlling their anger, while nearly 1 in 5 say that they have ended a relationship or friendship with someone because of their anger issues.[1] 

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. There are unresolved experiences in your past that have been internalised and conditioned to respond in anger. Yet, in therapy for anger management, you can better understand your anger as you develop essential coping skills that will improve your relationships, outlook, and everyday life.

Find Personalised, Effective Coping Skills And Strategies In Anger Management Therapy

While certain behavioural methods address surface-level anger management issues, somatic—or body-based—therapy offers relief, relaxation, and recovery on a deep level. As you process and release suppressed emotions that have long been stored in the body, you can come to a place of more acceptance and control. 

Instead of avoiding your anger, somatic therapy will help you approach your anger with awareness and curiosity so that you can soothe your nervous system and conditioned stress management response. 

But How Does Somatic Therapy Work For Anger Management?

I take a focused, holistic, and embodied approach when counselling clients in anger management treatment. Together, we’ll identify and discuss a triggering experience, slow down, and explore what is happening in your body as you reflect on the anger you feel. I’ll then ask questions that will prompt a deeper understanding of the emotion, including:

• What is your anger stopping you from feeling?
• What does your anger not want you to believe?
• How might your anger be protecting you?
• What does your anger need?

By acknowledging your anger and letting it know that you’re aware of what it’s asking, you can practice de-escalation in real time. The goal of somatic therapy is the “felt shift” experienced once core trauma has been processed, causing the nervous system to return to its natural, relaxed state—something you may not have felt for a long, long time. 

Somatic therapy also gives you an opportunity to understand your anger as a secondary emotion. Of course, the anger you feel is very real, but it can often be a mask for something underneath–otherwise known as the primary emotion. Once you can “touch” and experience the underlying primary emotion, you can begin to piece together why you had an angry response in the first place. 

Soon, you will see that the anger is no longer necessary for communicating your feelings to others, and instead a more genuine, heartfelt communication style can be available to you. In addition, I will offer you practical stress management strategies (drawing from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT) and personalised communication skills as we address conflicting beliefs and change the narrative surrounding your anger.

There is a different way to be with others and with yourself. You can achieve a healthier response by developing the emotional awareness needed to spot patterns, identify triggers, and reduce anxiety. With my approach to anger management therapy, lasting change is possible. 

Maybe You Don’t Know How To Deal With Your Anger, But You’re Not Yet Convinced That Counselling Can Help…

How long does counselling for anger management take?

Anger management treatment is a highly individualised process, so there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for therapy. I imagine we will be able to make significant progress in about 6 to 10 sessions, with the option to continue if you want to dig deeper. 

Controlling my anger is impossible—a therapist can’t help.

I hear your frustration and understand that you feel stuck—it’s likely that some of the common surface-level anger management strategies you’ve used in the past may not have yielded meaningful results. However, I am confident that somatic therapy can help where other anger management treatments have fallen short. Unlike other therapies that simply talk about problems and behaviours, somatic therapy addresses core issues—at the subconscious, body level—to facilitate positive change and healing. 

You may have never considered getting curious about your anger and really listening to what it’s trying to tell you, but somatic therapy offers an opportunity to truly get in touch with your emotions so that you can overcome the barriers keeping you stuck. 

I don’t have the time and money for counselling.

While therapy is an investment, I encourage you to consider the cost of not working through your anger. You’re probably here because your relationships, work, and mental health are at stake. By committing your resources to anger management therapy, you are making an investment in yourself that will create progress, stronger connections, and an overall happier life. 

Learn How To Manage Your Anger Once And For All

Your stress and frustration may have caused you to lose control in the past, but counselling for anger management can help you chart a new path forward. Book here to schedule a free, 20-minute consultation that will help us determine if I’m a good fit.

[1] https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/sites/default/files/boilingpoint.pdf